When exhaustion pushes out all resolve,
When control is relinquished from white knuckled fists
And optimism is clenched out through teeth.
When my mind listens to the pain of my body
And the pain of grief
Instead of to reason.
When reason has failed me because there are no answers
Or anything I can do to help.
When the only thing to do is nothing,
Accept the fragility of life and everything loved.
Accept that everyday will be a battle to perceive pain as a physical sensation and nothing more.
Accept that doing the best I can won’t and can’t and shouldn’t fix everything.
Because I am human, a helpless sheep, and my way of fixing things unintentionally breaks other things.
Because You are a different being. You understand what it is to be human, but You are not human. You are not a fixer, You are a healer.
Because fixing always comes with a price, but healing comes with a journey. You made sure that You paid the price so we would get to take the journey.
Because Your grace,
Your grace of always being present,
Your grace of beauty and children and the stars,
Your grace of love and forgiveness and reconciliation,
It’s enough to reroute my mind from the course of fear to the course of trust.
It’s enough to make me accept that everything is fragile and You are the only foundation.
It’s enough to make me see the value in continuing the journey to heal myself and to love others.